The Hardest Thing About Being An Ex-Pat.

I (an American) have spent the last five years living in Australia with my husband and growing family. We’ve built a beautiful life here. We’ve raised a very cute dog, had our first child, accomplished numerous career goals and made friendships that I know I will have forever. But today, I wished that I was back in America.

A very dear family friend passed away and I can’t make it back for the memorial service. 1. I’m working every day in a friend’s shop who is actually vacationing in the US right now. 2. I’m heavily pregnant. 3. I don’t have a spare $3,000 to make it to the east coast of America at the moment. It’s times like these when I feel extremely isolated and depressed. Mourning the loss of someone is never easy, but being able to gather with friends and family makes it a little bit more bearable.

My grandfather passed away in June 2013 and I couldn’t go back then either. It’s one of my biggest regrets. BUT, my family were adamant about me not flying and uprooting my life and that Papa knew that I cared and loved him. I did my best to look through old photographs of him and say my own special goodbye, but there was something about being so far away from where all of those memories were created that made it difficult.

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I miss my old village. I miss seeing all of the faces of the people who helped me become who I am today. I miss visiting with them on the back porch while the sun sets. I miss celebrating birthdays and holidays with them. I’m not ready to be the leader. I still want guidance, love, hugs and to tell these very important people in my life how much I love them. I still need them for when someone I love dies.

Yes, Facebook is wonderful. I get to live in a virtual reality where I still see all of my friends and family smiling and living their fun lives. But alas, it is not human interaction and that is what I crave. I keep going back and forth about doing this post at all because I don’t need likes or condolences online right now… I need a real hug.

Australia, I love you. But America – Oh how I miss you.

(Image via HERE.)