GUEST POST: Beyonce Would Be Proud

Like most great friendships begin, I met Leah on the Internet.

Her Instagram name is @BeyonceWouldBeProud which is why I knew we’d be besties. She is super funny and amazing, but have a read below to find out for yourself!

(High) Fashion Blogger Envy

by Leah Mandeltort

I once had a conversation with a friend about who we were following on Instagram. We discussed whether they were a reflection of our selves and our interests, and what our feeds would say about us. She came to the conclusion that hers would probably indicate that she really liked fitness, hot women and rabbits. I came to the conclusion that I must really like dogs.

Since that conversation I have roughly doubled the people I’m following on Instagram and have thought far too many times that I should really stop following the thousands of dogs on Instagram. I’ve also noticed a majority of the people I follow on Instagram are women: models, celebrities and fashion bloggers.

I decided to question why I follow so many fashion bloggers: Do I aspire to be like them, to become a fashion blogger, or to have a lifestyle like theirs? These are the only logical explanations I could come up with:

I am jealous of them.

They have enviable wardrobes, a limitless supply of beautiful high fashion designer clothing and a socialite lifestyle I envy. A girl can vicariously live her fantasies through the visually filtered world of Instagram. As I do through Bec Judd’s Instagram account, daydreaming about her friendship with the creators of J’Aton Couture who are designing elaborate dresses for yours truly.

I don’t have the income to match their enviable lifestyle or wardrobe.

Currently in my final semester of University, I have travelled extensively in the past three years and no longer have disposable income, given my low salary. I also don’t have a wealthy partner to fund my lifestyle or wardrobe. However, I have always dreamt of having a sugar daddy. Please enquire within.

I enjoy affordable shopping.

There’s nothing like raiding the bargain racks at department stores, especially when you know that everything that goes to the floor will be on sale in a couple of months. When I do purchase items at bargain prices, I usually feel consumed with this ridiculous sense of accomplishment. Money can’t buy that satisfaction.

I perceive expensive shopping as risky behaviour

I am not a careful person, so when a label reads as ‘delicate’, it translates in my head as ‘keep the f*ck away! I do not want you to wear me’. Same as when a label reads ‘suede’, ’white’, ’dry cleaning’ or ‘hand washing only’.

My style is very colourful and unique

Although I’m from Melbourne, you’ll never catch me dead in all black. If you do, you‘ll notice me tugging at my own clothes and trying to rip them off. I feel suffocated when wearing all black and have this fierce urge to wear colour.

I am generally at peak happiness when wearing bright, vivid colours, prints and yellows. I still thank the fashion lords who brought print pants back into fashion, along with stripes and polka dots.

I have ‘unsexy’* clothing obsessions.

There are things I love that sane people just wouldn’t dare wear. These include my penchant for ugly novelty jumpers (Christmas jumpers included); pyjama onesies complete with built-in socks, hoodies and bum flaps. I also enjoy harem pants that have an unnatural crotch drop to the floor and the capacity to fit an entire village inside them.

*While a normal person may consider these items to be unsexy, I totally beg to differ.

I am far from skinny.

I have curves and just like Beyoncé, when I wear a skirt I fill it out. I tend to stray from fashion trends that are tight, cropped, or meant for the tiny masses, as I am aware of my womanly figure. Although I occasionally daydream of joining a gym, I could never obsessively exercise myself to size 6-8 frame out of sheer vanity. That just isn’t me.

Although I follow fashion bloggers as a form of visual entertainment, I believe they depict a vain, exclusive, consumerist lifestyle. I do not believe they reflect a healthy or realistic representation of Australia’s current economic state. Especially when there are Australian women who don’t have disposable incomes, husbands that would so lovingly oblige to make extravagant purchases for them, or designers that would happily deliver exclusive items at their doorstep. If they did, I’m sure most women would be having heart attacks.

Furthermore I often wonder if fashion bloggers are truly satisfied with their lives, or if they continually spend their own or their husbands’ money to fill this constant void of emptiness with the short-term happiness contemporary consumerist goods provide.

I also wonder if they have other meaningful interests. Like dogs.