Don’t get me wrong – moms are amazing. And I’m not just saying that because I am one now. They made you and carried you around in their bodies for nine months. (If you were adopted, they went through A LOT of paperwork which is basically the same as giving birth.) They packed your school lunches, recorded you picking your nose on stage at your ballet recital and probably picked you up from a House Party when you were too drunk from downing that 5th Mike’s Hard Lemonade when you were 14.
However, I think we can all agree that sometimes, they just won’t hang up the damn phone.
Just this morning, my mom, Donna, attempted to keep me on the line. (Even though I live in Australia and our convo was costing me like $6/minute.) I did the super nice sign off, “Okay, Mom. I have to go into work, but I love you.) Donna replied, “I love you, too.” BUT THEN she did the, “OH WAIT!” As if to tell me something super urgent.
Donna: You know that ugly brown workout sock you have?
Donna: Well, don’t throw it away because I found the matching pair here at home.
By that she meant her home IN FLORIDA. Here are some other classics that I’m sure we can all relate to.
The “What About Your Taxes?”
Me: Alright, I’m going to hit the hay. I’m so exhausted.”
Donna: Alright, Sweety. Oh wait, have you thought about your US taxes? Do you need me to go to H&R Block?
Me: Mom. It’s November. No. I haven’t thought about my taxes.
The “Did You See On Facebook?”
Me: Goodnight, Mom. Love you.
Donna: Love you, too. Oh wait, Did you see that Mallory is in a relationship with Sadie? I had no idea that she was a lesbian.
Me: She’s not. It’s a joke. Sometimes girls just say they’re in a relationship to be funny and cute on Facebook because they love each other so much.
The “Everything I Ate Today.”
Me: Ahhh, I have to go! My house is on fire!
Donna: Oh no! But wait, did I tell you that I made steak for dinner? I steamed broccoli too, but now I’m gassy.
The “Your Brother Got A Cat.”
Me: I have to go because I have a meeting in five minutes and need to prep.
Donna: Did I tell you that Brett got a cat? It’s a rescue from Molly. She really struggled to find a home for this little guy!!
Me. Aw, that’s so sweet. But I have to run!
Donna: They named the cat, “Jessup.” Isn’t that cute?
Me: Adorable. I must go! Love you, mean it, BYE!!!!
The “Did You Watch Jimmy Fallon Last Night?”
Me: I just watched Jimmy Fallon and Nicole Kidman was on. It was hilarious.
Donna: I LOVED that one! God, he is so talented.
Me: Totally. Okay, well I should go be productive today.
Donna: Did you see Jimmy Fallon last night? Nicole Kidman was on!
Me: WERE YOU NOT PRESENT FOR THE CONVERSATION WE HAD 3 SECONDS AGO?!
(Image via HERE.)