As seen on Flamingo Pink!
1. I need to be ridiculously wealthy.
2. Summer (great name) was terrible in Season 1.
3. Marissa totally got the shit end of the stick.*
4. Seth is a babe. A babe I wouldn’t know was a babe unless I spent four years dating a douche bag.
5. Ryan. Oh Ryan. I want you to take off your leather necklace and use it to tie me to your bed. But only if it’s in the pool house because I want to be rich and say things like, “take me in the pool house!”
6. Sandy’s eyebrows would make a phenomenal Loofa.
7. Kirsten has daddy issues. But don’t we all?
8. Jimmy Cooper is a tool. But I guess I can see why Kirsten likes him. No I can’t. Kirsten, please explain.
9. Julie Cooper reminds me of Lindsay Lohan. Well, Lindsay Lohan in 10 years.
10. Caleb: see Kirsten’s daddy issues.
*By “shit end of the stick” I mean, Luke
Okay fine, let’s keep going…
11. Luke is a selfish loser, but what can you expect from a wealthy highschooler?
12. Let’s go back to Ryan’s eyes. He has nailed the side look down.
13. Mexico was a poor decision and it’s all Seth’s fault.
14. Theresa really messed up everything. They should have killed her off (and not Marissa.)
15. Even rich people have problems.
Two things my friend, Sarah Goldszer, learned:
1. Caitlin’s discovery of her pony having alopecia taught us all a little thing or two about how no daughter should have a hairless horse.
2. Ryan’s incredible predictions about the rate in which Americans will run out of social security so there’s really no rush to get a job.